As a twenty-something, who just missed the Sex and the City generation, I was curious about the modern version of the good ol’ lifestyle debate… to settle down or live the free single (slightly lonely) life. It’s a war as old as time, or at least the last twenty or thirty years, and there will always be those whose focus is to get married and dedicate their lives to their family and those whom decide their career and friends are the only things they need to feel fulfilled.
I believe the age of social media has now affected every aspect of our lives, and most people would agree with that, but I'm concerned with the specific affect it’s had on people my age (26) and how constant life updates alter our perception of the lifestyles others have chosen.
I should state now that it’s my firm belief that neither life choice is right or wrong, and each individual is completely different and should seek the path that makes them happy. However, both lifestyles seem to evoke criticism, guilt, and judgement in their counterpart and it seems the age of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram has had both a negative and positive affect on the relationships between those who have (and quote) opted for a quiet family life in the country and those who still live the city life and go out dancing every night.
Even at my (I like to think still quite young) age I can already feel the divide start to form firmly. I have probably four or five friends who have got married or had children; most I never speak to and the others rarely. Although I've had a particularly positive experience with one friend who’s life path has taken a very different turn to mine. We keep in contact regularly over Facebook even though she's married with a baby and lives in America and when we see each other it's like no time has passed!
I think It’s hard not to feel like the fact that most people now put their entire lives on the internet has affected how this divide now works. The first thing that came to mind when i started thinking about this was the fact that obviously the regularity with which people post updates online means we’re constantly faced on a daily basis with other peoples life choices. On the way to work, when browsing Facebook on your lunch hour, having a scroll before bed, for better or for worse! I don’t know about you but often i have conflicted emotions about many of the posts I see. One picture can make me feel happy, nostalgic, sad and lonely all in the space of about 10 seconds!! This can mean having an intense emotional reaction to a friends life update when you’re say on a busy commuter train (not happened to me .. ever… I swear.. *stifles sob on the 8.22 South West service) and you’re forced to face up to and almost justify your life choices both to others and yourself when really you’d like to make sure you make your connection and show up to work on time! I personally think the affect of this barrage of everyone else’s life invading ours on a daily basis mainly has a two fold affect… whilst obviously the one side is 100’s of baby / wedding pictures when you’re feeling particularly low/ bored/ lonely can have us hitting that block/delete button faster than you can say “Zuckerberg” , they can sometimes help us to understand how the “other half “ live. This leads to another issue with judging friends “online selves”, now, we all (me included) post everything online. I reckon guilt and inadequacy plays a big part in the way we judge other people and our reaction to their lifestyles. Its a classic modern case of the grass is always greener. The most rational successful women i know can suddenly question their entire life and happiness when faced with a close friend making a drastic life change like getting married. The divide can be widened by all the single gals coming together to gasp and groan in unison at every wedding detail update (ooooh don’t you just love the handmade wedding invites that just arrived.. puke!) But that is probably (not in all cases obviously) because they feel that little part of them that gnaws away and tells them they should be doing the same.
I think It’s hard not to feel like the fact that most people now put their entire lives on the internet has affected how this divide now works. The first thing that came to mind when i started thinking about this was the fact that obviously the regularity with which people post updates online means we’re constantly faced on a daily basis with other peoples life choices. On the way to work, when browsing Facebook on your lunch hour, having a scroll before bed, for better or for worse! I don’t know about you but often i have conflicted emotions about many of the posts I see. One picture can make me feel happy, nostalgic, sad and lonely all in the space of about 10 seconds!! This can mean having an intense emotional reaction to a friends life update when you’re say on a busy commuter train (not happened to me .. ever… I swear.. *stifles sob on the 8.22 South West service) and you’re forced to face up to and almost justify your life choices both to others and yourself when really you’d like to make sure you make your connection and show up to work on time! I personally think the affect of this barrage of everyone else’s life invading ours on a daily basis mainly has a two fold affect… whilst obviously the one side is 100’s of baby / wedding pictures when you’re feeling particularly low/ bored/ lonely can have us hitting that block/delete button faster than you can say “Zuckerberg” , they can sometimes help us to understand how the “other half “ live. This leads to another issue with judging friends “online selves”, now, we all (me included) post everything online. I reckon guilt and inadequacy plays a big part in the way we judge other people and our reaction to their lifestyles. Its a classic modern case of the grass is always greener. The most rational successful women i know can suddenly question their entire life and happiness when faced with a close friend making a drastic life change like getting married. The divide can be widened by all the single gals coming together to gasp and groan in unison at every wedding detail update (ooooh don’t you just love the handmade wedding invites that just arrived.. puke!) But that is probably (not in all cases obviously) because they feel that little part of them that gnaws away and tells them they should be doing the same.
The one amazing thing about the internet in general is how it’s connected us (there are those who say we only communicate online now and that’s negative but thats a different conversation) but in terms of trans atlantic conversations and keeping in touch with friends and family its never been easier! In the old days (ok pre 2006 let’s say) even if you occasionally found time to email close friends you certainly wouldn’t have the daily connection many of us have today.
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